Fear of falter

As a tailor, you're constantly living with the fear of falter. As a matter of fact, I think many of us do.

Some of my happiest moments have often been connected with the process of creating things. To see something evolve from the palm of my hand have always given me a feeling of comfort. My father even told me that the best way to conquer the fear of death itself, was to create things. To do. But not only to do - the important thing was to try to do. To be part in a process of a greater whole. But that's now all lost. At least it seems that way.


A ghost called Obsession With Economic Growth is currently sweeping across our continent, killing every creative thought in sight. It tells us to be more efficient. It tells us to produce more while spending less. It even tells us to hurry up while doing something absolutly genius. Illusions shatter. Our lives become stressful.


It seems the whole idea of working now lays firmly in the act of producing products in the shortest time possible, ruling out all quirks and insecurities whatsoever. No time for creative new ideas. No time for individualization. And absolutely no room to falter.


But I have a problem with all this. I have an uttermost urge to repress this narrow-mindedness. I don't subscribe to the idea of efficient creativity. Neither do I agree on wealth necessarily being monetary. So instead of trying to be perfect, I'm going to embrace my fear and allow myself to falter. Accepting that sometimes doing things wrongly, is one of the most important qualities in my creative process - a quality surely to be treasured and cherished. No matter what others say or do.


A new time is dawning, where I will not fear, but still falter. And that's okay.


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Falter. "To be unsteady in purpose or action, as from loss of courage or confidence" - or "to be hesitant, week or unsure". (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language / Collins English Dictionary)
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